Article re-published from the Fall 2014 4-Thought Newsletter
On Relapse—Keep Coming Back!
I came to OA in 2012 having been completely defeated by food. I sat in the back of my first meeting—by myself— and cried because I had finally found a group of people that had problems with food as I did. They shared their experience, strength and hope, which in turn gave me hope for recovery. I immediately found a sponsor and started to work the program. I began learning a lot from my fellows and gaining new program friends.
Things seemed to be going along swimmingly until the voice of my disease started to get really loud in my head. Suddenly, I wasn’t feeling that iron dedication to program anymore – I began to believe that I had this abstinence thing licked and didn’t need the support of the group. Slowly I started to drop out of OA: first I stopped going to meetings regularly, then stopped calling my sponsor and talking to my program friends. My disease became more persistent, telling me I did so well with abstinence before that I was now ready to eat whatever I wanted and I could handle it. Thus began the start of my relapse or, as I’ve heard it called in the rooms, “further research.”
In a short time I ended up right back in the misery that brought me to OA in the first place. I humbly walked back into my meeting with my head hung low and started over.
My Higher Power gave me the courage to come back to the meeting even though it was humiliating to admit my relapse. I was welcomed with open arms and loving support.
Even though my road to recovery has been bumpy, OA has taught me so much about my disease. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am a compulsive overeater and I know by working the program and using the tools that I will know peace and serenity unlike anything I’d ever imagined because I’ve experienced it and for that I am eternally grateful.
-Nicole S, Unity Intergroup, St Paul, MN